When filming an abortion is better than giving birth.

This week, a 25 year old lady named Emily Letts released a video of her abortion. Naturally, the internet went nuts, and predictably, so did the pro-lifers. While many were supportive of her decision to produce a positive abortion story; she was also attacked by various parties, some going as far as calling her a Nazi, and saying she deserved to die for killing her baby.

The same day the news broke, I was driving to my French lesson and heard a woman on the radio sharing a story about being pregnant (it was some kind of Mothers' Day special) - she told the DJs that she hadn't expected the gynae bills to come up to a few hundred ringgit each time. She said the doctor had even told her that if she needed a C-section it could cost 12-13k.

"We just don't have that kind of money!" she exclaimed on air.

Then she said her mom had some money saved up, and had told her she could use it if she needed to. So her Mother's Day story was basically that she loves her mom for supporting her pregnancy, and she announced that she was going to raise her kid the same way her mom raised her. At this, of course the DJs were all like, "WOW, YEAH, GREAT MOTHERS DAY STORY! MOTHERS ARE THE BEST HUH?? NOW TIME FOR SOME RICK ASTLEY!"

Yeah, the thing is, when I hear a story like this, a few other things come to mind: Firstly, a few hundred ringgit for each visit to the gynae - that sounds like a private gynae to me. That's how much it would cost for a pap smear or an STD test in a private clinic, so it’s hardly surprising. The math is not difficult in the case of a 9 month pregnancy.

And then there’s the possibility of the C-section that could set you back 12-13k. What ran through my mind (and I was being judgmental, I must admit) was this: if you can't afford it, then how about the government hospital over your mom's retirement fund?

You know what, I don’t even care if it sounds judgmental. I don’t know this woman, it could have been anyone telling the story, but to me, it’s about being responsible in the decision to have a child. What happens in a couple of years when there's not enough money in the bank for the kid's education or medical bills? Forget a couple of years, what if they can’t afford diapers or formula after the kid is born? Are they going to go back to mom each time?

Maybe the mom/the family in this case is flushed with cash and there’s enough money for three generations of girls to go back to mom’s on mother’s day for C-Section money - but what if that’s not the case?

The issue here is thinking it through before you make the decision to have a child. In each of my workshops with teenagers, when we talk about childbearing, we’ll have a discussion about the responsibilities involved in being a parent, and whether they are really prepared to handle all that. The teens go through the amount of money and time it costs for their parents to raise them, the sacrifices parents make for their kids; and after each session, they leave with lots of stuff to think about, including and especially, the importance of being responsible for your actions - a lesson that extends across the board in sexuality education.

That said, right now the headlines on Emily are largely “The woman who filmed her abortion” with the focus firmly on the filming of an abortion, and of course, the termination of a pregnancy. But I think equally important are the considerations she had in arriving at her decision to terminate the pregnancy - she was simply not ready to have a child, made a rational decision, and scheduled an abortion, fitting in an IUD after the procedure.

When you compare that to the number of parents today who are so ill-equipped to raise their children to the point they have become irresponsible parents, many bordering on abuse; is it even possible to argue against the fact that this woman made an informed and responsible decision?

The brave article Emily Letts wrote for Cosmopolitan contains useful information on abortion, you can and should read it here.