No Benefit in Being Unkind

People will wake up today to news that the British royals have an addition to the family - and I for one am glad that the UK has this news to celebrate.

Malaysians, on the other hand, are still reading a gob-smacking column about how there is ‘No Benefit in Being Fat’ – a giant slur of a piece against people who have the audacity to go beyond a size S.

New royal baby, I hope the writer of that piece will never attempt to ‘read’ your face, because she may choose not to focus on your face and instead, find fault with your delightful baby rolls.

Indeed, the oddest thing about Tee Lin Say’s piece was that she could have focused on her column’s subject matter, Mian Xiang (Chinese face reading), which is a rather thought-provoking subject. The Chinese may have had Mian Xiang for centuries, but the Indians and Greeks also have a history of face reading.

Instead of enlightening us on her chosen subject, Tee chose to hurl every insult she could upon people who are unfortunate enough to have ‘blobs of fat’ on their body – which is pretty much everyone on the planet, at some point of their lives.

She wrote as if she wanted to talk about people’s faces, but gave up because she couldn’t help being disgusted with the abomination that is your big body.

If I were Tee, I would have not have confused my animals – baby elephants are incredibly cute, and many people are aware that the awesome fat hippo is the most dangerous mammal in Africa.

I would not have displayed my ignorance about history and rulers – England’s new Royal baby is the great-great-great-great-great grandson to Queen Victoria, who had a 50-inch waist and ruled an empire for 63 years.

I would not have talked about people in offensive aesthetic terms, and I would have remembered that some people gain pounds from medical conditions, stress, marriage, pregnancy, happiness, sadness, and just generally living life.

I would have not have degenerated the topic into one that almost reeks of phrenology, a pseudo science that justified slavery, and which early racists used to assign people’s traits and characteristics with the shapes of their skulls.

And where exactly is this dangerous Tide of Lard, and how can I warn my Muslim friends about it?

Tee could have educated us on how the Greek and Indian styles of face reading were more focused on personality traits, but for the Chinese, the element of luck or destiny is included.

She could have reminded us that Mian Xiang is definitely not a black or white science, and that even her mentor, Chinese astrology expert Joey Yap, says that every feature on the face indicates possible outcomes, only determined fully as a result of your character or behaviour.

She could have quoted other face readers, who have said that while the blueprint of your face is yours alone, your face changes as you get older - precisely because of the way you act or behave, or by the knowledge you have gained.

Foreheads get wider, eyes change shape, and smiles may evolve.

I may not personally believe in things like face or palm reading, numerology or astrology myself. But it is perhaps a nice enough thought that bone structures or the shape of your face can grow more pleasant as you behave better or learn more as you get on in life – and the inverse can be true for those who opt for more wicked ways.

This has echoes of traditional Chinese palmistry as well - one hand (left or right, depending on gender) revealing the traits and characteristics you were ‘born with’, and the other will be what you ‘grow to be’.

In fact, as Tee has written herself before, her mentor Yap said: “Your face reflects what’s in your heart. If you change your heart and attitude, your face will change too.”

If something as fixed as your face can change, isn’t it preposterous how Tee can view extra weight as a determiner for laziness, lack of discipline or dishonesty?

As offensive as her column was however, once again social media comments in response to her views are equally revealing.

If her detractors are urging Tee not to judge their faces or bodies but by their character or behaviour, then how are they being any better by commenting cruelly on her looks?

If there is one lesson we can take from Tee’s piece, it is that there is no benefit in being unkind – the reflection is far from pretty.