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    Review: 'Journey 2' sinks Verne's isle in 3-D muck

    There's little mystery about "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island."

    This 3-D sort-of sequel wears its formula-for-dollars purpose with pride, delivering a dash of cinematic nonsense that represents Hollywood calculation at its shrewdest and most shameless.

    Again poking Jules Verne's remains with a sharp stick, the producers of the 2008 hit "Journey to the Center of the Earth" present their second modern take on the 19th century fantasist's wild stories. And "Mysterious Island" is every bit the amusement park ride cloaked as a movie that the first "Journey" was, the new flick stranding a misfit band of adventurers on Verne's lost island of freakish creatures.

    What this one lacks by comparison is the relative novelty of digital 3-D, which was in its infancy for mainstream theatrical releases when "Journey to the Center of the Earth" came out.

    It also lacks the likable goof factor of Brendan Fraser, who starred in the first movie but isn't back for the second. Dwayne Johnson steps in this time, and while he tries to yuck it up amid the nonstop action, he's just not a goofball on the order of Fraser, who somehow can make extreme silliness palatable with that big, simpering grin of his. Johnson, on the other hand, merely simpers.

    "Journey 2" also features a change of directors, with Brad Peyton ("Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore") overseeing a collection of impressive but annoying visuals, serving up gimmicky 3-D that's continually trying to poke things in your eye.

    Johnson stars as ex-Navy guy Hank, stepfather to troublesome teenager Sean Anderson (Josh Hutcherson, reprising his role from the first "Journey").

    In its rushed and clunky opening minutes, "Journey 2" establishes that Sean's a bad boy genius who resents his stepdad; bonds the two in a scene that shows Hank's an OK guy and Sean's not such a bad boy and not such a genius; sends them off to the South Pacific in search of Sean's grandfather (Michael Caine), who sent a cryptic transmission that he had found Verne's supposedly fictional island; and lands them in the company of helicopter pilot Gabato (Luis Guzman) and his beautiful daughter, Kailani (Vanessa Hudgens), who ferry the visitors to the remote isle.

    Peyton and cousins Brian Gunn and Mark Gunn, who wrote the screenplay, waste no time giving the characters more than the barest cartoon personalities, allowing the filmmakers to focus on the movie's only reason to exist. And that's purely as a thrill ride, the actors racing from a giant lizard, flying on monster bees while pursued by colossal hungry birds, rushing to escape an enormous electric eel.

    Size matters to the filmmakers here, which might be why they signed up Johnson, a co-producer as well as star, who strains for some laughs with an overdone gag about his massive pectoral muscles.

    The actors make an effort with the interminable repartee they're given to mutter, but the presence of actors as good as Caine and Guzman only highlights how dreadful and dumb the banter is ("Journey 2" will be preceded by a new Daffy Duck cartoon; that short didn't play before a recent critics' screening, but we're betting its dialogue will be sharper than the main attraction's).

    The 3-D images have improved greatly since the first "Journey," but even more this time, the filmmakers play a game of "made you flinch" with cheap shots of objects hurtling off the screen. Good for a giggle at a theme park attraction, good for some groans and grousing when paying a 3-D premium to park your carcass in a theater for 90 minutes.

    There's promise of more, too, the movie hanging out the prospect of a "Journey 3" inspired by another of Verne's sci-fi classics.

    The root of the franchise is kind of clever, updating Verne's novels to our times by pretending they weren't fantasies but chronicles of actual expeditions. And "Journey 2" has its heart in the right place as a family-friendly adventure that might interest some kids in checking out Verne's books.

    If only the movie had the hint of a brain.

    "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island," a Warner Bros. release, is rated PG for some adventure action, and brief mild language. Running time: 94 minutes. One and a half stars out of four.

    ___

    Motion Picture Association of America rating definitions:

    G — General audiences. All ages admitted.

    PG — Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for children.

    PG-13 — Special parental guidance strongly suggested for children under 13. Some material may be inappropriate for young children.

    R — Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

    NC-17 — No one under 17 admitted.

    How do you feel about this article?

     

    13 comments

    • Mike  •  Winston-Salem, United States  •  3 months ago
      ENOUGH of all this 3-D CRAP !!!
    • jon  •  Pasadena, United States  •  3 months ago
      How do movie producers take a seemingly bullet-proof subject like Jules Verne or the Wolfman, utterly & completely botch it, and keep their jobs? Stunning. Really stunning. Is there some course they take called "Being so out of touch with your audience it'll make your head explode"? Oh, and do American car companies take the same class?
    • Nikki  •  Brunswick, United States  •  3 months ago
      I'm no critic, but the movie was really bad. And this time, the critic was right...the Daffy Duck short beforehand was better than the movie itself. :/
    • Joel  •  Chelsea, United States  •  3 months ago
      While I agree with some of the comments about how "we are taking our kids here so who cares what critics have to say?" I think you are all missing the point. Movies that we enjoy with our kids dont have to be stupid, unimaginative, contain crude humor, lower our intelligence, etc. they can still be very good movies and the fact that they are intended for kids should not be an excuse!

      Movies that are enjoyable for all ages and dont rely on cheap gimmiks are what makes kids movies good in the first place! So if you would rather spend $10 a person to see some "movie" that hollywood is just throwing at you for quick cash then dont be surprised if this trend continues. On the other hand you could actually choose to skip these in hopes that movies like this stop and spend your money/time when a movie with thought comes out (Dragons, Hugo, Toy Story, etc.).

      There are other things you can do besides going to the movies :/
    • JIML  •  Oklahoma City, United States  •  3 months ago
      Are all 'Critics" out of work poets? LMFAO!! I would THINK if anybody has seen the trailer they SHOULD know it is going to be big and stupid, FUN sure! ...but still big and stupid. So, what's the real problem here? OH yeah! The "critic" is trying to impress us with his snobbery.
    • Erika  •  Eugene, United States  •  3 months ago
      I totally agree with most of the comments. When I take my child to see a movie, I want a funny, non-reality movie that we can enjoy together. Just because is is sill and no realistic does not mean it is garbage. Take it for what it is, a kids movie with a few extreme ideas thrown in for adult enjoyment. Get off your high horse and write about things that really matter.

      I have to disagree about Brandon Frasier, he is funny and can be a great addition to most movies. He is a just a silly guy who can gives lines that most would not be able to give with a straight face. He is an amazing comedic actor.
    • LikeYouNeeToSayIt  •  3 months ago
      why do movie critics hate movies?
      •   3 months ago
        Those who can, DO. Those who can't, judge. Critics are just jealous...
    • Momma Marino  •  Schnecksville, United States  •  3 months ago
      I gotta say, Mr. Critic.....I work all day, then Mommy when I get home...I am going to take my 10 year old to see the movie...I am going to sit and have popcorn and soda...and enjoy 90 minutes of cheap gimmicks, pectorial muscles and every other immature thing that the movie has to offer and enjoy the escape from everyday life. So, give it as many stars as you want. I'm going.
      • El 3 months ago
        Good for you! My kids will love this and I will enjoy talking it with them. Win-Win.
    • morgana  •  Tampa, United States  •  3 months ago
      Why do critics think every movie has to be an Oscar contender? This is a movie aimed at KIDS! I go to the movies to escape real life, not be depressed or bored. Most critics choices I would not pay a red cent to go see. Action, stupid humor or horror make me forget. With the economy and the price of movie tickets I am going to pick something that is as far from real life as I can get.
    • Mike  •  3 months ago
      How do you know a movie is low budget? Brandon Frasier is in it. Why take a mediocre film and do a sequal? this and GI Joe? Really. Oh yeah the Rock is in both of them.
    • james  •  Montgomery, United States  •  3 months ago
      If the critics like a movie then the movie usually sucks, so since they hate this movie I'll take my kid to go see it.
    • Otto Pilot  •  Spring Branch, United States  •  3 months ago
      Journey 1 stunk on ice. Why make a second?
    • El  •  3 months ago
      This is a movie. It is not real. Do not panic.

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