What are Will and Kate going to be up to in Malaysia?

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The royal visit of Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (or Will and Kate, as they are better known) to Malaysia is barely two weeks away and the question on most people's minds is: What exactly is Britain's royal couple going to be doing down here in our neck of the woods?

Well, the nice folk at the British High Commission had a little coffee-and-sandwiches session with the media on Monday and gave us the low down on what the future king and queen of England will be getting up to in Malaysia. And let us tell you - calling it a whirlwind is a like describing Hurricane Isaac as a slight drizzle.

Their visit here, which is part of a worldwide tour to celebrate Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond jubilee, will be from September 13 to September 16, right after they visit Singapore and just before their jaunts to remote pit stops like the Solomon Islands and Tuvalu.

So, what's on the agenda? In a nutshell, it's a combination of politicians, pediatrics and primates with some cuisine, culture and commerce thrown in for good measure.

They touch down on Thursday afternoon and will be immediately whisked away to PM Najib Razak's Seri Perdana residence for lunch. No word on who else is on the guest list, but we're probably guessing Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim is not invited.

From there, Will and Kate will zoom off to Hospis Malaysia where Kate, a patron of the East Anglia Children's Hospices, will launch our Health Ministry's Pediatric Palliative Care Programme. Kate will also give a speech to patients and staff at the centre. We are told that this a pretty big deal since it's Kate's second public speech ever and her first outside the UK.



Thursday night will see them attend a dinner hosted by the Yang di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Abdul Halim Mu'adzam Shah at Istana Negara. This will be the third time this year our king is rubbing shoulders with members of the British royal family. He previously hung out with Queen Elizabeth II and co. during her Diamond Jubilee celebration and again at the London Olympics. What we're dying to know is if the menu consists of Malaysian fare or Western cuisine. And if it's Malaysian, is durian going to be served?

On Friday, Will and Kate will work off some calories by going on a culture walk at KLCC park. The Information, Communications and Culture Ministry will apparently be putting some cultural extravangaza for the entertainment of the visiting royals. We suspect it'll probably resemble a Malaysia Truly Asia ad come to life. It should make for good entertainment, especially if Will or Kate decide to try out a bhangra move or two. This event is open to the public, so make your way to KLCC on Friday, Sept 14 if you have the time.

After the walkabout, Will and Kate will attend a business lunch organised by the British Malaysian Chamber of Commerce at the KL Convention Centre. There, the Duke will deliver a speech on the importance of UK-Malaysia ties to about 1,200 guests - including business leaders, ministers and government officials.

The last event they'll attend in Peninsula Malaysia will be the Diamond Jubilee Tea Party hosted by the British High Commissioner at his residence. The guests will include 150 Brits and Malaysians who've contributed to the relationship between the two nations, including the likes of kung-fu goddess Michelle Yeoh, world-class cobbler Jimmy Choo and Malaysia's sweetheart Pandelela Rinong as well as the two winners of The Ultimate Royal-Tea Photo Competition.

Once they've completed that oh-so English custom of drinking tea (with scones, perhaps?), Will and Kate will depart for Sabah to check out the nature and wildlife scene there.

Saturday will be spent at the Danum Valley, where the royal couple will climb trees, discuss conservation work with scientists and try to spy out the animals in one of the last remaining areas of virgin tropical rainforest in Southeast Asia.

And once that is done, it's ta-ta Malaysia and hello Solomon Islands.

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