Adults, not students, are the biggest bullies

Frequently, we hear of cases of bullying in schools. The Education Ministry says it has zero tolerance for bullying, but it has not been successful at preventing bullying from taking place.

I say that adults are the bigger bullies, and until adults stop bullying those seen to be less strong, or innocent, the problem can never be eradicated in schools. We are setting the example, after all.

The latest incident of bullying that has become public knowledge happened at a school in Kota Samarahan, Sarawak.

The incident came to light after a short video of the physical bullying went viral. It shows a group of about 10 girls assaulting a lone girl; they drag and kick her, and pull her hair.

A police statement said the assault was believed to have taken place on April 25, and that police had arrested three girls who have since been released on bail. The victim is a Form Three student, while those who bullied her are in Four Four.

Deputy Education Minister P. Kamalanathan said on June 2 that the ministry was aware that bullying happened in schools. Saying the ministry had zero tolerance for bullying, he urged schools not to hide such incidences so that solutions could be found.

At least no one died in this incident. On Jan. 7, a Form One student died after drinking weed killer because he could not stand the constant bullying that had gone on in school.

T.Kavinraj, 13, of Semenyih, Selangor, had told his mother that he was being constantly tormented in school, often called “stupid” by other students, before killing himself.

We have read of many, many cases of bullying over the past few years. In some cases, the victims died or were badly injured. However, most cases of bullying, in particular verbal bullying, go unreported.

Why is bullying a major problem in schools?

It has to do with power. These students enjoy the power and thrill that comes from making someone smaller or less strong or innocent cringe or become scared or obey them.

Some bullies use physical force while others use influence to intimidate those they feel can be intimidated.

While the student offender has to take responsibility for the act, society, too, has to share responsibility for incidences of bullying. I would say that adults are one of the major reasons why school children become bullies.

Let me explain. Students sometimes see teachers bullying others in school, and they follow. In January, for instance, we heard about a teacher in Sungkai, Perak, who forced two students to eat grass as punishment.

They see unfair practices in the way the school is administered or the way students are treated, and learn early in life that might is right or that belonging to the right clique paves the way to power. We must keep in mind that today’s students are more aware of what is happening around them; and smarter, too.

In general, in our quest for power and money and comfort, we adults sometimes indulge in bullying co-workers or consumers or citizens.

Adults, consciously or unconsciously, often act in a manner which can be deemed to be an instance of bullying.

The father shouting at the mother to make her do something or the mother deriding the father to force him into changing his mind, in the home, sends a message that bullying is part of life.

Then there are those who make offensive remarks about other people’s ethnicity or behaviour or religion or abilities. That amounts to verbal bullying. Some teachers, for instance, have been known to do this.

And we have several non-governmental organisations in our midst today which are experts at such type of bullying.

Then there are those who threaten others with this or the other, intimidating the person into doing what the bully wants. Again, we have quite a number of recent examples of individuals and NGOs which indulge in such intimidation. One example of such bullying would be to tell someone to either shut up and accept the situation or leave the country if he or she is unhappy with conditions here.

Barging into a temple and stopping a wedding – with the possible threat of arrest or legal action – can be deemed an instance of bullying, too.

Threatening citizens who wish to exercise their right to protest peacefully can also be seen as bullying.

We have groups or individuals – or even ministers – who call on the government to only carry out development projects or shower benefits on those who vote for the ruling party. This act of alienation is an instance of bullying, too.

Then there are those who spread rumours or stories about someone or other – especially during elections – with the intention of tarnishing that person’s image or standing in society. This is an indirect form of bullying.

And certainly those who term people who disagree with the government of the day “traitors” are indulging in a form of bulling.

Young people see all this. Today’s youngsters refuse to follow the “Do as I say, not as I do” directive. They are smart. We cannot bully them into submission.